THE LETTER

By Nkiru Oh

(Disclaimer: all the names in this write-up are fictitious and not associated with anyone living or dead)

Otunba and Uduak had been married for 27 years. The couple were blessed with four children, twin boys, Miogbon and Mobolaji, and two girls, Ekaete and Takumi. Uduak, 48, was a 12th grade mathematics teacher in one of the high schools in New Jersey.

After twenty years as an accountant with a top notch firm in New York, Otunba retired and became self-employed. He exported fairly used cars to their native country Naija. His nature of business entailed a lot of traveling. He often went to Naija two weeks after the container had shipped. After selling the cars and whatever he shipped, he brought back ethnic foodstuffs which he resold to the ethnic food stores in the tri-state area (New Jersey, New York and Connecticut) with a high profit margin. On occasions when he did not sell everything during his trips, he supplied them to his customers who later paid the money into his domiciliary account.

Tall and handsome with broad shoulders, Otunba, at 58, looked ten years younger than his age. His smiles were disarming. His friends called him a 'ladies man'. More than twice Uduak had to forbid some of Takumi's female friends from coming over to their house because of their provocative dressings and the manner at which her husband stole glances at them. The children and their dad teased her for being too 'local' and weird. Otunba often commented that his wife left the village but the village never left her.

As time went on, Otunba started staying longer in Naija. Three weeks increased to four, five, six weeks, and then up to three months or more. Every subsequent trip lasted longer than the one before. His late-night phone calls increased too. He was getting too many customers who wanted him to buy cars for them. So why should he restrict their calls? 

"Otunba why do you now need to hide to answer your calls?" Uduak asked him one night when she woke up to use the bathroom at 2 o'clock in the morning and did not see him in bed. She became anxious but finally found him in the guest bathroom, with the lights out, talking on his cell phone.
"If you must know, Mrs. Curious Monkey, I do not want to disturb my wife's sleep! I mean, why should I?...here, take the phone and talk to Mr. Ibe, my agent cum major customer in Abuja...ask him why he is bringing many business deals to your husband? Go ahead, ask him...women and their troubles! You never satisfy them!" He walked past his wife and went back to bed. Uduak rejoined him, unconvinced by his feigned anger!

With time, Otunba started complaining about most things ranging from the food to sex. Every night he surfed the social networks for hours. Then he started chewing Viagra like candies and began asking for all kinds of sexual positions: the dog style, figure-8, figure-6, twist, humpy-hump, monkey style, and so on. Uduak's face-me-I-face-you (missionary) position no longer appealed to him. The fact that  she could not satisfy her husband's sexual appetite was alarming. She complained to the children who asked her to learn to live with the times!

Uduak went into a mild depression, started losing weight which turned her husband off the more. One day, after returning from one of his trips to Naija, Otunba did the unthinkable: he demanded a threesome and gave his wife one week to fulfil it! The tone of his voice when he said those words convinced her that he meant it! It was more like a monosyllabic whisper. One week passed, Uduak did nothing. She was confused. Then two weeks, nothing. On the third week came another bombshell: either Uduak gave him a threesome or he would file for divorce!

The chips were down! Uduak wept for three days! She did not want a divorce. Her religion and upbringing were against that. Her problem was consuming her. Her work started to suffer. Her colleagues noticed. The principal inquired but Uduak told everyone that everything was okay.

One day after Uduak had missed school again, her colleague, Twana, came to visit. Initially Uduak was reluctant to confide in Miss T, as students and staff called Twana. When Miss T told her the rumor circulating in school about her, Uduak broke down and cried her hearts out. 

" I will do it for you Uduak. If that's all he wants, common now, I will do it for you."

"You sure Miss T?"

"Of course, Uduak, and I swear with my life, no soul will hear about it unless you or Otunba spilled the beans!"
"You sure, Miss Twana Ivers? Look me in the eyes and promise me that I will not regret this!"
"Yes, I am sure, Mrs. Uduak Otunba! I have sworn with my life...and believe me, you will thank me for everything!" she reiterated.

Uduak got up, wiped her tears and embraced her new best friend and confidante, "after all a threesome is better than the rumor of me having HIV/AIDS!" Thus Uduak saved her marriage! Everyone was happy. Otunba reduced the duration of his trips. To him, "what was the point spending his hard earned cash on those undergrads in Naija when Miss T provided better services and for less?" He professed that life had gone back to normal or even better! He did not mind when Uduak started spending more time at Miss T's apartment or going places in her company.

Three months after the special affair began, Otunba came home to an almost empty house! Was he in a dream? Was he in his house or what? He pinched himself severally to make sure he was still alive. Where was his wife? What happened to her, her belongings, and the new living room set he bought the week before? He went "No...No...Noooo!" On the night stand in his bedroom was a letter in his wife's hand-writing. He took one look at it and collapsed on the bedroom floor and let out a shriek, "No...No...No...Noooooooooooooo! God forbid! God forbid! Nooooooooooooooo!"

After he summoned up enough courage, Otunba re-read the letter which began thus, "My beloved Otunba, Thank you very much for giving me one of the best gifts ever...!" He could not take it any more. He threw up and passed out  right there! When he came to, the reality hit him full force again. His beloved wife, Uduak, had left him and moved out of state with her new lover, Miss Twana Ivers.