Picking Up the Pieces

Sometimes the cares and worries in life tend to weigh us down. Sometimes life throws too much at one, things get so bad and out of control that all one wants to do is give up. Many a time, one feels so exhausted and afraid of tomorrow and may wish that it never comes. These happened to one of my dear friends, Gene (not real name). He was down and almost out! Things spiralled so out of control that he contemplated lots of negative thoughts! But one day, in his sunken state, he opened up and poured out his hearts. We cried, then talked for about an hour and I shared this piece with him. Because he told me reading it, reluctantly at first, and meditating on it, worked like magic to uplift his spirits, I want to share it with you too. If this poem helps one person out there to get up, pick up the broken pieces, and grab life by the horns, or someone uses it to motivate another, my aim would have been achieved. Here we go:

Be not afraid!
Be not discouraged!
Do not lose hope!
You still can cope!
Keep on believing!
All doubts removing!
It is only but a while
You will break out in a smile!
The storms of life are raging!
Life has become nothing but caging!
Things are all crumbling to pieces!
You already are down and in many creases!
Loved ones desert you!
Friends all forsake you!
Disappointments, displeasures, deceptions;
Frustrations, fabrications, falsifications;
Depression, disillusion, despair;
Everything falls apart as if beyond repair!
Life stinks like feces!
You've become an object of teases!
Things are spinning out of control!
Worries and lack are exerting their toll!
Fears within, terrors without!
Bills mounting, children going aimlessly about!
These all can pass, it's only but a while!
If you lose not hope, soon you again will smile!
Be not afraid!
Be not discouraged!
Get up and start again!
Do not waver, your goal you must attain!
Get up and pick up the pieces!
Rise up and remove all the creases!

ADDICTED TO PRESCRIPTION DRUGS!- Part One

By Nkiru Oh

Disclaimer: This write-up is not meant to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care professional. It is merely to create awareness of this brain disease known as "drug addiction".

Addiction, whether to food or drugs, is a terrible disease which has destroyed many lives! According to Webster's, a disease is "any departure from health presenting marked symptoms; malady, illness; disorder." Addiction is a departure from health and all it stands for! The American Society of Addiction Medicine aptly depicts addiction as "a disease process characterized by the continued use of a specific psychoactive substance despite physical, psychological or social harm," The addict continues despite the harm to self, others and society. The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) defines drug addiction as "a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences." It is termed a brain disease because "drugs change the brain...its structure and how it works...[and] these brain changes can be long lasting, and can lead to the harmful behaviors seen in people who abuse drugs." Drug addiction is a killer-disease which has destroyed, and still is destroying lives on a daily basis!

 Sad as it is, drug addicts have the need to use drugs to "feel normal." The compulsion is so overwhelming that the user becomes highly preoccupied with obtaining the drugs of choice, through legal or illegal means, to satisfy the cravings. Nothing else matters until that need for a shot is met! Abrupt stop of use or failure to satisfy the cravings leads to serious and or painful withdrawal symptoms. Four  things that easily come to mind are 1. Addiction is a disease. 2. Addicts are not weak-willed! Their brains react differently to effects of drugs. 3. Addicts need help to stop! and 4. Relapse is common!
Drugs of abuse, according to the NIDA include Alcohol; Cocaine (powerful, addictive stimulant); Inhalants; LSD;  Ecstasy (one of the deadliest); PCP (Phencyclidine); Hallucinogens; Heroin (highly addictive, most abused and most rapidly acting opiate); Marijuana; Methamphetamine; Anabolic Steroids; Tobacco/Nicotine; and Prescription Drugs. This write-up concentrates on Prescription drug addiction because it seems to be  the least emphasized by society and medical personnel.
Many erroneously believe that an addict is only one hooked to crack, cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, PCP and other illegal drugs but prescription drugs are said to be the "second most commonly abused category of drugs, behind marijuana and ahead of cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine and other drugs," and thousands die every year from drug addiction. Prescription drugs become addictive when they are used for non-medical purposes or in a manner "inconsistent with their labeling or for reasons they were not prescribed." Because the doctor prescribed it does not make it okay to use drugs other than what it is meant for or to share it with one it wasn't ordered for. Its addictive effects are also dangerous as drugs obtained illegally from the streets.

Prescription drugs most often abused include: OPIATES and MORPHINE DERIVATIVES: Examples, oxycodone (Oxycontin),  propoxyphene (Darvon), hydrocodone (Vicodin), hydromorphone (Dilaudid), meperidine (Demerol) and diphenoxylate (Lomotil), also used for cough and diarrhea, Codeine, Morphine, Fentanyl, and others. Opiates are very potent pain killers often used to relieve post surgical pain. They act "directly on the respiratory center in the brain stem, slowing down a person’s breathing." When used in excess, an opiate can "cause the respiratory centers to shut down breathing altogether, causing death." Health hazards from long term use include developing tolerance for the drugs: one must take higher doses to achieve the same initial effects; lowered heart rate & blood pressure; unconsciousness; coma; death; especially when mixed with alcohol! When used as directed by a physician, opiates are said to be safe and generally do not produce addiction. But bear in mind they are said to "also possess very strong reinforcing properties and can quickly trigger addiction when used improperly." Adhering to the doctor's order cannot be overemphasized!

DEPRESSANTS: the barbiturates, (Amytal, Seconal, Nembutal, Phenobarbital), benzodiazepines (Ativan,Valium, Xanax, Librium) and sleep medications as zolpidem (Ambien), zaleplon (Sonata), eszopiclone (Lunesta) and so on. These highly addictive drugs are used for anxiety, panic and sleep disorders.  Intoxicating effects include: "Sedation/drowsiness, reduced anxiety, feelings of well-being, lowered inhibitions, slurred speech, poor concentration, confusion, dizziness, impaired coordination and memory." Lowered inhibitions lead to bizarre behaviors! Possible adverse effects include lowered blood pressure, slowed breathing, tolerance, withdrawal, addiction; increased risk of respiratory distress and death when combined with alcohol. Long term users are advised to seek the assistance of medical professionals to stop use. Attempting to stop on their own may have serious withdrawal consequences!

 STIMULANTS: a class of drugs said to increase brain activity: alertness, attention, and energy that is accompanied "by elevated blood pressure, increased heart rate and respiration." These include amphetamines (Dexedrine, Adderall), methylphenidate (Concerta, Ritalin), and are used in weight loss treatment programs, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and sleep disorders. Users are said to express feelings of exhilaration, increased energy and mental alertness. Abuse of these drugs may lead to feelings of hostility and paranoia; dangerously high body temperature; increased heart rate and blood pressure, tremors, stroke, heart attack, aggression, hallucinations, panic, impulsive behavior, irritability, delirium, seizures, and obviously death!
Besides the risks these drugs pose when used on their own, greater risks occur when they are combined with other drugs or with alcohol. Serious adverse effects from drug interactions are emphasized!
In effect, drug addiction, which is an improper use of medications, is a disease with brutal consequences, and an addict needs help to stop! Do not be an enabler rather be a helper! Next we will discuss why people take drugs and signs and symptoms of drug addiction...

THE BEAUTIFUL YOU!

By Nkiru Oh
Some things baffle me and I want to share them with you. Hopefully, you may explain them better to me. I have observed that many blacks are turning white. I mean blacks from African nations such as Nigeria, Ghana, Liberia, and Sierra Leone. So what's this rave about skin bleaching all about? Do those people know the implications of bleaching their skin? Who says one must be fair or bleach one's skin to be beautiful? What are those people really thinking? Somebody explain please!

See, I was taught that our skin is our largest organ whose major function is to protect us from "microbes and the elements." It also helps to "regulate body temperature, and permits the sensations of touch, heat, and cold." Imagine being rigid! Mmmmm...! How about serving as "a waterproof covering that prevents excessive loss or gain of bodily moisture." No wonder they look so dry! So why should people destroy the epidermis, the first layer that creates skin tone, thus exposing the dermis, second layer with its connective tissue, hair follicles and sweat glands, to danger? Does anyone think of the harmful chemicals used in those bleaching products or their adverse effects?

It's not my business, right? It becomes my business when some one stands or sits next to you smelling like rotten fish! Am not being harsh. It's the truth! It becomes my business when someone, trust me they like to come close to your face and put their arms around your neck, comes within earshot and you become nauseated and sick to your stomach due to the stench of dead skin that is sloughing! What torment! Yes, it becomes my business when someone holds her hand out for a handshake and you quickly withdraw yours because her hand looks soooo dry and lifeless with black and white blotches on the knuckles! Gosh, those blotches, eeewwww! And when they get sick, my tax money goes into their care!

Will never forget one of my class mates in College. She bleached herself so much that she could not go in the sun without covering her entire body except the face. Even her bra straps caused her damage. As she put it "sunburn renders a bleached skin permanently black." Why go through the hassle then? Her skin looked so bad, not to her though, that one day a Prof. in our Health class used her to explain the disease, Vitiligo! Damn! The Prof. had no clue that 'beauty is just skin deep!'

What is more shocking is that men now bleach too! I have seen many men with "Fanta-Face-Coke- Legs", and "Guinness Stout-Knuckles" like those women too! How about the bleached necks that now look like turkey and or vulture necks as the necks of those women too! Can someone please tell them to stop trying to shake my hands! Their knuckles scare the crap outta me! And they shouldn't come too close either. I need to breathe too!

Woman to Woman

By Nkiru Oh

Are you kidding me? Trust me, I must say how I feel! I have borne it for too long! My first question is, why do women project a lot onto their friends and fellow women? Secondly, why are women their worst enemies? Before you carry placards and start demonstrating, please, hear me out! I am a woman and I enjoy being one! What baffles me is the way some women hate and attack fellow women far worse than men do! Did I do any research to come up with this notion? Never said I did. That's why it's my opinion!

Did you just ask whether I speak from experience? You bet! I have seen many instances if that should count as part of my experience. Just yesterday, a twenty-three year old girl was conversing with her twenty-eight year old girlfriend. Are you still with me? Do you notice the five-year age gap? Okay, let's continue. Check out this conversation and see if I still need a research to arrive at my conclusion:
"So when are you getting married?" Corredia, (not rel name) the older girl, suddenly asked.
"What?"
"You heard me. I asked, when are you getting married?"
"Eeehm...what exactly are you talking about?"
"Am talking about you getting married!" This time she emphasized every word. "Or don't you know your mates are all married, some already with children?"
Now, let' rewind a bit. Corredia is five solid years older than her friend! And Corredia is unemployed and SSS, single and still searching. Okay, back to the story:
"Tell me you are kidding, Miss Corredia!"
"Do I look like a jokester to you?"
Need I tell you that by the time her younger, employed, friend who also has a steady boyfriend,  finished with her, the friendship, I am sure, fizzled!

You said one instance is not enough? Okay, how about a fifty-something year old woman addressing a thirty-something year old as "auntie", "yes ma'am", "sorry ma", "good morning ma!" "thank you auntie", and so on. What do you call this? Respect, you said? What kind of respect is that? Explain to me please!
Can't forget the drama at the work places! Some women know who did what to get which promotion; who slept with whom, when, where, how often, and even what each told the other during the act! Jeeez! Trust me, those women who know everything about others have no clue about themselves! Quite unfortunate you know!

Another one that is kinda absurd too is seeing a woman, with about triple layers of foundation to cover the many wrinkles and fine lines on her face, publicly volunteering her age to be in the early forties! Mind you, I ain't getting any younger. Neither are you. And I use foundation too. Common now, I've got to enhance my beauty. Do you notice that I used the word, 'volunteering'? Yes, because, those women do not wait to be asked before they tell you, and often, without minding whether your conversation is related to age and aging or not! Am like, stop already! Zip it please! I am not  interested in anyone's age. I will not discuss mine either. But don't you think it's better for people to say one looks younger than one's age than 'mtcheew, give me a break puuhleez!' I mean, I will prefer the former comment any day! Not that I am bothered by the way I look any way! Not yet. May be years later!

You know what ladies? Just be you. Live your life the best way you can. And learn to smile if you do not do so already. And stop carrying the weight of the whole world on your head. That will break your neck! Stop fussing about getting old and other people' ages or lives! Oh yes, quit poking your nose into other people's business! The more you do that, the worse off you become. It's like all the ages you project to your friends and others come back to you exponentially! Yea, it's okay to laugh! Won't charge you for it!

You still want more examples? Too many to contain in this short piece. A colleague saw me one morning and went like, "hey Nkiru, I think u should lose some weight!" Holly Molly! No, she wasn't done with me yet! "You are getting too fat and you better do something!" Are you kidding me? Did I tell you it was about 7 o'clock in the morning? Or that Miss Adviser did not even say 'hi' or 'good morning' prior to the verbal abuse? I said a short silent prayer: "Lord, please hold my mouth, amen!" When I looked at her abdomen hanging too closely to her knees,...Jesus Christo...no...no...no Nkiru PLEASE DO NOT! Then I heaved a loud sigh and said out loud, "thank you Lord for holding my mouth!" I would have verbally killed her if I had told her how petrified I was due to the size of her abdomen!

For more examples, check out the social networks. Read women's comments about fellow women. Read men's comments too. After that you tell me who uses kinder words to describe women. Rather than be happy for others, some women loathe them with a passion. Too bad! Oh, and some have every ugly explanation about why this or that woman is a success! If an actress succeeds, "oh no, she slept with so and so to get the roles." Oh yea? If another woman does well in business, "no way, she uses black magic." Woow! So, is this having a "Certified Loser's mentality" or what?  Those haters know what everyone else does to make money yet they are unemployed, loafing off relatives, friends and strangers alike, or still live hand-to-mouth or paycheck to paycheck?  My advice: do yourself, your family and the society a favor: get off your behind and make good use of your God-given brains and time! Projecting your flaws and fears onto others ain't gonna solve anything! It's not like I am anti-women. Never! Just don't like slothfulness and envy!

"How Am I Driving?"

By Nkiru Oh

On several occasions, I have seen many commercial vehicles and school buses with this inscription at the back: "how am I driving?" Initially, I did not think about those words beyond their literal meaning: call the number at the back if the driver messes up on the road. I wonder whether anyone has the courtesy to call to commend a driver any way! Just musing though.

As time went on, I started thinking about those words beyond the surface meaning. I began to ask myself a lot of questions. How am I driving? Do I consider other road users or am I simply a selfish driver? Do I drive responsibly or recklessly like a maniac? Do I give myself time to get to my destination or do I wait until the last minute before I zoom off and want to fly and run all the red lights? Am I cognizant of the fact that my irresponsible driving can ruin me or other road users? Do I think of the consequences of any reckless behavior?

How am I driving? Do I pick up my cell phone as soon as I start my car? Do I drive and text at the same time? Yes, am I a 'car-talker' or 'car-texter' or both? Do I think about the thousands of lives that have been wasted due to addiction to 'car-talkng' and 'car-texting'?

At this stage of my life, that simple question, "how am I driving?" is not simple any more! The meaning now goes beyond operating a vehicle. It has become my daily assessment tool, a kind of mantra. How am I behaving in relation to my family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, strangers, in fact, other humans? Do not get me wrong please, I do not let people walk atop me. And I know about the creeps out there. But reminiscing on these words can broaden one's horizon for the better. Or don't you think so?

See, I have likened this tool to the golden rule, "do unto others as you would want them do unto you!" Yes, because, if I honestly and objectively analyze how I am driving, and the next person does the same, life will be better for all of us. There will be less road accidents, less careless deaths, less avoidable deaths, less wickedness, less violence in our society. How do I mean, you ask? By each of us being considerate, applying our freedom within control. It may not matter what others think of us. But we know when we deviate from the universal good.

So how well am I driving on this road of life? Do I know my purpose in life or am I clueless? If I know my purpose, am I fulfilling it or am I wasting time, wandering in darkness? Does my life have meaning? Is my life a blessing? Am I impacting positively or negatively? How well am I driving on this road of life?  It's impossible to satisfy everybody. But it's possible to aim for the highest good!  How am I driving? And how are you driving?

Depression: the Destroyer of Lives and Relationships

Depression is one of the most debilitating but least acknowledged diseases afflicting mankind. For years, scientists have been searching for origins, causes, and answers for the disease. It wrecks lives and relationships. At times, it operates subtly that the sufferer may not describe exactly what is wrong. It can also be wild and manifest in aggressive ways. In any manner it presents, depression afflicts without mercy. And it does not get the attention it deserves medically.

To the layman, depression is feeling sad. Often you hear people ascribe being depressed with any situation that does not go the way they wanted. For examples, "This rain this morning makes me depressed." "I was in traffic for 30 minutes and I was damned depressed!" "It snowed last night and I am now depressed." Really? That's all? Depression is more than feeling sad,  down or disappointed...

According to MediLexicon's Medical Dictionary, depression is "a mental state or chronic mental disorder characterized by feelings of sadness, loneliness, despair, low self-esteem, and self-reproach; accompanying signs include psychomotor retardation (or less frequently agitation), withdrawal from social contact, and vegetative states such as loss of appetite and insomnia."  Yes, depression does all those plus more.

Unfortunately, this debilitating disease is often ignored or treated with kid's gloves. Sometimes the sufferers, either due to ignorance, lack of access to healthcare, or fear of stigmatization in some cultures, do not seek help until it becomes a little too late. On the other hand, the sufferer may not get the aggressive treatment he/she needs. 

Bear in mind that I am neither a scientist nor an expert but I know what depression is. I know what it can do. I also have seen how dastardly it can be. I wish therefore to address depression the best way I deem fit. To do that effectively, please permit me to personify this malicious sickness. Here we go:

Depression!

Unexpressed anger! 

Suppressed emotions!

You thrive in darkness!

Sadness is your middle name!

Downward spiral!

Dejection!

Self-rejection!

Misery becomes you!
Depression!
Your nicknames are Gloominess!

Helplessness and Hopelessness!

Self-denigration is your last name!

You cause deprivation!

You crave hollowness!

You wallow in loneliness!

Depression!

Uncontrolled descent!

Despondency! Disillusionment!

You are oft called Despair!

Depression, you are a nuisance!
You destroy relationships!

You hold your victims captive!
You make them shadows of themselves!
You send them into penury!

You cause untold pain and anguish!

You hold in a grip and you squeeze so tight!

Depression, you entangle and never let go!

You enslave! You restrain! You possess!

You suppress! You repress! You oppress!

You have people on a choke-hold!
Depression, you smother! You destroy lives!

Depression, you are callous!

How stifling! How suffocating?

How painful, nasty and uncaring?

How cruel? How hurtful can you be?

Why do you flourish in malice?
Why are you so sneaky?
Why must you be a control freak?

Depression, I must expose you for what you are!
Depression, you are really devilish!

THE LETTER

By Nkiru Oh

(Disclaimer: all the names in this write-up are fictitious and not associated with anyone living or dead)

Otunba and Uduak had been married for 27 years. The couple were blessed with four children, twin boys, Miogbon and Mobolaji, and two girls, Ekaete and Takumi. Uduak, 48, was a 12th grade mathematics teacher in one of the high schools in New Jersey.

After twenty years as an accountant with a top notch firm in New York, Otunba retired and became self-employed. He exported fairly used cars to their native country Naija. His nature of business entailed a lot of traveling. He often went to Naija two weeks after the container had shipped. After selling the cars and whatever he shipped, he brought back ethnic foodstuffs which he resold to the ethnic food stores in the tri-state area (New Jersey, New York and Connecticut) with a high profit margin. On occasions when he did not sell everything during his trips, he supplied them to his customers who later paid the money into his domiciliary account.

Tall and handsome with broad shoulders, Otunba, at 58, looked ten years younger than his age. His smiles were disarming. His friends called him a 'ladies man'. More than twice Uduak had to forbid some of Takumi's female friends from coming over to their house because of their provocative dressings and the manner at which her husband stole glances at them. The children and their dad teased her for being too 'local' and weird. Otunba often commented that his wife left the village but the village never left her.

As time went on, Otunba started staying longer in Naija. Three weeks increased to four, five, six weeks, and then up to three months or more. Every subsequent trip lasted longer than the one before. His late-night phone calls increased too. He was getting too many customers who wanted him to buy cars for them. So why should he restrict their calls? 

"Otunba why do you now need to hide to answer your calls?" Uduak asked him one night when she woke up to use the bathroom at 2 o'clock in the morning and did not see him in bed. She became anxious but finally found him in the guest bathroom, with the lights out, talking on his cell phone.
"If you must know, Mrs. Curious Monkey, I do not want to disturb my wife's sleep! I mean, why should I?...here, take the phone and talk to Mr. Ibe, my agent cum major customer in Abuja...ask him why he is bringing many business deals to your husband? Go ahead, ask him...women and their troubles! You never satisfy them!" He walked past his wife and went back to bed. Uduak rejoined him, unconvinced by his feigned anger!

With time, Otunba started complaining about most things ranging from the food to sex. Every night he surfed the social networks for hours. Then he started chewing Viagra like candies and began asking for all kinds of sexual positions: the dog style, figure-8, figure-6, twist, humpy-hump, monkey style, and so on. Uduak's face-me-I-face-you (missionary) position no longer appealed to him. The fact that  she could not satisfy her husband's sexual appetite was alarming. She complained to the children who asked her to learn to live with the times!

Uduak went into a mild depression, started losing weight which turned her husband off the more. One day, after returning from one of his trips to Naija, Otunba did the unthinkable: he demanded a threesome and gave his wife one week to fulfil it! The tone of his voice when he said those words convinced her that he meant it! It was more like a monosyllabic whisper. One week passed, Uduak did nothing. She was confused. Then two weeks, nothing. On the third week came another bombshell: either Uduak gave him a threesome or he would file for divorce!

The chips were down! Uduak wept for three days! She did not want a divorce. Her religion and upbringing were against that. Her problem was consuming her. Her work started to suffer. Her colleagues noticed. The principal inquired but Uduak told everyone that everything was okay.

One day after Uduak had missed school again, her colleague, Twana, came to visit. Initially Uduak was reluctant to confide in Miss T, as students and staff called Twana. When Miss T told her the rumor circulating in school about her, Uduak broke down and cried her hearts out. 

" I will do it for you Uduak. If that's all he wants, common now, I will do it for you."

"You sure Miss T?"

"Of course, Uduak, and I swear with my life, no soul will hear about it unless you or Otunba spilled the beans!"
"You sure, Miss Twana Ivers? Look me in the eyes and promise me that I will not regret this!"
"Yes, I am sure, Mrs. Uduak Otunba! I have sworn with my life...and believe me, you will thank me for everything!" she reiterated.

Uduak got up, wiped her tears and embraced her new best friend and confidante, "after all a threesome is better than the rumor of me having HIV/AIDS!" Thus Uduak saved her marriage! Everyone was happy. Otunba reduced the duration of his trips. To him, "what was the point spending his hard earned cash on those undergrads in Naija when Miss T provided better services and for less?" He professed that life had gone back to normal or even better! He did not mind when Uduak started spending more time at Miss T's apartment or going places in her company.

Three months after the special affair began, Otunba came home to an almost empty house! Was he in a dream? Was he in his house or what? He pinched himself severally to make sure he was still alive. Where was his wife? What happened to her, her belongings, and the new living room set he bought the week before? He went "No...No...Noooo!" On the night stand in his bedroom was a letter in his wife's hand-writing. He took one look at it and collapsed on the bedroom floor and let out a shriek, "No...No...No...Noooooooooooooo! God forbid! God forbid! Nooooooooooooooo!"

After he summoned up enough courage, Otunba re-read the letter which began thus, "My beloved Otunba, Thank you very much for giving me one of the best gifts ever...!" He could not take it any more. He threw up and passed out  right there! When he came to, the reality hit him full force again. His beloved wife, Uduak, had left him and moved out of state with her new lover, Miss Twana Ivers.

NUMBER 8

By Nkiru Oh

(Disclaimer: all the names in this write-up are fictitious and have no association with anyone living or dead).

Emeka and Nene had been friends since high school. They attended the same college where both majored in Business Administration. They started dating in college and each professed to be head-over-heels with the other. Three years after college they got engaged. Emeka lived in Pennsylvania while Nene was based in New York. Both were working. Life was good. Three months to their wedding, Emeka eloped with an ex and got married in Alaska. Nene was crushed.

Ten years later, Nene ran into Emeka in a conference in Chicago. He knelt down in the hallway and asked for forgiveness. By the third day, it was a three-day conference, Nene soft-pedaled and they exchanged numbers. Within a short while, the relationship went into top gear. Emeka's friends tried to warn him against the union to no avail. His mind was made up. This time around, he wanted to do it right. Besides, Nene was SSS (single and still searching)! 

Shortly, Emeka started hearing rumors of Nene cheating on him. Each time he raised the topic, Nene would sound offended and threaten to end the relationship. She convinced Emeka that the rumors were being circulated by the 'enemies of progress'; people who were envious of them. He suggested that they should live together but Nene would not hear of it. She guarded her independence with a passion.

One beautiful summer evening, Emeka came to spend another weekend with his girl. The next day, Saturday, after they had come back from the movies, Emeka quickly freshened up and laid down on the queen-sized bed ready for some good time. While Nene was in the shower, her phone rang. Emeka reached for the receiver. What he saw on the caller Id was unbelievably hilarious. "Scumbag # 4", it said. "Wow", he chuckled, "this girl really knows how to take care of those bastards! Mmmm...no wonder all the stories they circulate about her! Fools! Damn them scumbags for sure!"

Emeka started whistling the "I Feel Good" tune. He was getting very excited. "I know what she will save my name as...'Honey', 'Sweetheart', 'Emmy', 'Mekus', or simply 'Darling'...or...or even 'The Man' as she calls me when we make love...lemme find out." Still grinning and almost bursting with pride, Emeka grabbed his cell phone and dialed his girl's number. "No way...this cannot be me!" He speed-dialed a second, third and fourth time, still the same word showed! "Jeez," he rubbed his eyes and put on his glasses, "does it mean Nene has been fooling me all this while?" He dialed a fith time, still the caller Id said, "Scumbag # 8"! Emeka started crying. "This girl is wicked o! So I, Emeka, am a Scumbag?...this witch has been calling me a scumbag all along? Chineke, I am number 8, not even number 1 or 2 or..or even 3 but number 8? God, how long has this been going on?" Emeka did not wait to find out...

Give Love a Chance!

                                  By Nkiru Oh

Some embrace love.

Some shy away from it.

Some are favored by love.

Some scarred by it.

Some commit to love.

Some trivialize it.

Some nurture love.

Some stifle it.

Love illuminates your life.

Love unites and is stronger than strife.

Love makes you often wanna dance!

I wish you love, please give love a chance.