Picking Up the Pieces

Sometimes the cares and worries in life tend to weigh us down. Sometimes life throws too much at one, things get so bad and out of control that all one wants to do is give up. Many a time, one feels so exhausted and afraid of tomorrow and may wish that it never comes. These happened to one of my dear friends, Gene (not real name). He was down and almost out! Things spiralled so out of control that he contemplated lots of negative thoughts! But one day, in his sunken state, he opened up and poured out his hearts. We cried, then talked for about an hour and I shared this piece with him. Because he told me reading it, reluctantly at first, and meditating on it, worked like magic to uplift his spirits, I want to share it with you too. If this poem helps one person out there to get up, pick up the broken pieces, and grab life by the horns, or someone uses it to motivate another, my aim would have been achieved. Here we go:

Be not afraid!
Be not discouraged!
Do not lose hope!
You still can cope!
Keep on believing!
All doubts removing!
It is only but a while
You will break out in a smile!
The storms of life are raging!
Life has become nothing but caging!
Things are all crumbling to pieces!
You already are down and in many creases!
Loved ones desert you!
Friends all forsake you!
Disappointments, displeasures, deceptions;
Frustrations, fabrications, falsifications;
Depression, disillusion, despair;
Everything falls apart as if beyond repair!
Life stinks like feces!
You've become an object of teases!
Things are spinning out of control!
Worries and lack are exerting their toll!
Fears within, terrors without!
Bills mounting, children going aimlessly about!
These all can pass, it's only but a while!
If you lose not hope, soon you again will smile!
Be not afraid!
Be not discouraged!
Get up and start again!
Do not waver, your goal you must attain!
Get up and pick up the pieces!
Rise up and remove all the creases!

The Power of the Spoken Word!

Nkiru Oh

One night during the Winter of 2010, I encountered what was to become one of the sweetest, most satisfying workdays in my career as a health care professional. I was with some co-workers when Viveen (not real name) wobbled in and sank in the remaining empty chair at the corner. Before I could ask any question, she said resignedly, "V (my middle initial)...I am now a diabetic! I was diagnosed three days ago! My doctor checked me and my blood sugar was more than 500...yes, I am now a diabetic V!" Before I could say a word, she continued, tears running down her face, "he even gave me insulin shot...yea...said he had to...my sugar was too high." Again she repeated like a chorus to a music stanza, "I am now a diabetic...V....I am a diabetic!" When I looked at her face, I saw not only fear but hopelessness. I saw helplessness. I saw dejection and despair. I saw  resignation and emptiness. I saw a woman who believed she had received a death sentence and was waiting for the executioner in the gallows! I did not bargain for what was unfolding in front of me. The sight of the once energy-filled, vivacious Viveen, sitting on that chair like a piece of rag, stretched me beyond my training and experience! I quickly said a silent prayer, "Lord, pls tell me what to say!"

 While we were at it, as she sat there breathing heavily and sweating profusely despite the cold night, two of her friends cum colleagues came to give her what I chose to call the 'last sacrament'. One brought her two packs of unsalted crackers, the other a bottle of water, both gifts she absent-mindedly accepted and mumbled her thanks. The one that brought the crackers instructed her like a matron, "you know this is what you should be eating from now on. Now eat before your sugar gets messed up!" And both left. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach! Here were two people with no clue about diabetes, already 'teaching' and messing her up for real! Lord have mercy!

Viveen was about to open the crackers when I spoke. I honestly do not remember my exact words but based on what Viveen told me again yesterday, and probably for the hundredth time, the words literally brought her back to life! I remember bringing my chair closer, sitting about 2 feet from her, putting both hands on her shoulders, with her permission, and engaging her eyes as I spoke. I remember telling her that diabetes does not define her or any who has it; that it is a disease which if managed properly especially at the early stage, minimizes one's chances of developing complications years later! I remember asking her to discard those 'special gifts' together with the mindset with which she accepted them, to face diabetes and fight it as if there was no tomorrow! I asked her to discuss with her doctor so she would start walking immediately to lose some weight; and to work with her health care team to put the disease in check! Yes, exercise helps the body to utilize nutrients, and working with the doctor and the team is very crucial! I remember seeing Viveen sitting up, lightening up and wiping her tears as we spoke, and finally breathing a deep sigh of relief by the end of our talk! We then hugged and went back to our various units.

I did not know the full impact of our talk until about three weeks later. I saw the new Viveen, happier and energetic as ever. When she hugged me and told me all that happened in the past few weeks, I cried for joy! Viveen, after discussing with her physician, started to walk in the park. In three weeks, she already lost about twelve pounds, and she gladly showed me her new girth! Within a few months, her doctor reduced her medications to the barest dose. Need I say she is not on insulin! And her blood sugar has remained within the desired range!

I cried again last Saturday when we met at a party. Almost everyone there has heard about my encounter with Viveen that Winter night two years ago! What made me cry again for joy and wanna share this incident with the world was what one elderly woman said to me at that party. She put her hands on my shoulders and said, "My child, Viveen already told us what you did. Our words can kill. They can also heal. God uses people to help people. Please do not ever change!" I felt on top the world knowing that through one person, Viveen, I have ended up positively impacting many more lives! Yes, words can kill! Words can also save and heal! We can start impacting the world one person at a time! If after reading this piece someone realizes the need to say some kind words to others especially those that are hurting, and or becomes mindful of the power of the spoken words, my aim for sharing the story would have been achieved!

Depression: the Destroyer of Lives and Relationships

Depression is one of the most debilitating but least acknowledged diseases afflicting mankind. For years, scientists have been searching for origins, causes, and answers for the disease. It wrecks lives and relationships. At times, it operates subtly that the sufferer may not describe exactly what is wrong. It can also be wild and manifest in aggressive ways. In any manner it presents, depression afflicts without mercy. And it does not get the attention it deserves medically.

To the layman, depression is feeling sad. Often you hear people ascribe being depressed with any situation that does not go the way they wanted. For examples, "This rain this morning makes me depressed." "I was in traffic for 30 minutes and I was damned depressed!" "It snowed last night and I am now depressed." Really? That's all? Depression is more than feeling sad,  down or disappointed...

According to MediLexicon's Medical Dictionary, depression is "a mental state or chronic mental disorder characterized by feelings of sadness, loneliness, despair, low self-esteem, and self-reproach; accompanying signs include psychomotor retardation (or less frequently agitation), withdrawal from social contact, and vegetative states such as loss of appetite and insomnia."  Yes, depression does all those plus more.

Unfortunately, this debilitating disease is often ignored or treated with kid's gloves. Sometimes the sufferers, either due to ignorance, lack of access to healthcare, or fear of stigmatization in some cultures, do not seek help until it becomes a little too late. On the other hand, the sufferer may not get the aggressive treatment he/she needs. 

Bear in mind that I am neither a scientist nor an expert but I know what depression is. I know what it can do. I also have seen how dastardly it can be. I wish therefore to address depression the best way I deem fit. To do that effectively, please permit me to personify this malicious sickness. Here we go:

Depression!

Unexpressed anger! 

Suppressed emotions!

You thrive in darkness!

Sadness is your middle name!

Downward spiral!

Dejection!

Self-rejection!

Misery becomes you!
Depression!
Your nicknames are Gloominess!

Helplessness and Hopelessness!

Self-denigration is your last name!

You cause deprivation!

You crave hollowness!

You wallow in loneliness!

Depression!

Uncontrolled descent!

Despondency! Disillusionment!

You are oft called Despair!

Depression, you are a nuisance!
You destroy relationships!

You hold your victims captive!
You make them shadows of themselves!
You send them into penury!

You cause untold pain and anguish!

You hold in a grip and you squeeze so tight!

Depression, you entangle and never let go!

You enslave! You restrain! You possess!

You suppress! You repress! You oppress!

You have people on a choke-hold!
Depression, you smother! You destroy lives!

Depression, you are callous!

How stifling! How suffocating?

How painful, nasty and uncaring?

How cruel? How hurtful can you be?

Why do you flourish in malice?
Why are you so sneaky?
Why must you be a control freak?

Depression, I must expose you for what you are!
Depression, you are really devilish!