By Nkiru Oh
Life is full of vicissitudes! So long as we are in the world, no one is totally free from the ups and downs in life. My mother used to say that "it's only a dead man who has every right to boast!" Yes, because what else can he suffer in this life? He is free from pain and heartaches!
Many people have encountered situations that might have made them question everything in life including the existence of God! Do not blame those people please! The pain of the moment can drive any one crazy. He/she may be hurting so intensely that he/she may experience temporary insanity. Some who went that route, sadly, never recovered. It then behoves those around the person in a hurtful situation to help him/her retain some sanity! Words heal! Words also kill! Be careful what you tell some one who is hurting. Like my mother said, "if you don't know what to say, or you don't have any meaningful thing to say, please, do not say a word!" Your careless, insensitive utterance may be all the person needs to go over the edge!
So what was it that made me wish to die, you may be asking? Well, I am about to share that with you here and now. January 5, 1986 has remained indelible in my mind. I don't cry about it any more. But it's still vivid as if it happened yesterday. That was the day I lost a child, to me, one of the most painful losses for a mom! Being young and inexperienced did not help! But does it really matter? Got pregnant while in school. Pregnancy was uneventful. Was not sick even for a day. Kept all my doctor's/prenatal appointments. Did everything as I was told. Nine blessed months later...in a twinkle of an eye...I lost my baby during delivery!!! Baby was breach presentation!
Out of stupidity, carelessness or sheer foolhardiness, a nurse held the baby's umbilical cord together with it's leg which led to my precious baby's asphyxiation!!! Holding its cord while baby was in the birth canal was like sealing one's nose and mouth!!! By the time they realized it, my beautiful gift had died while in transit into the world!!! A Cesarean section was too late!!! I wept until there was no strength left in me!!! I wished to die! I prayed to die!! I willed to die!!! Would have died but my husband's words consoled me and made me hang on. With tears running down his face, he said: "I am sad we lost the baby. But...I still have you...and that is all that matters to me now...God will give us other children...Am happy you survived...and you are here with me!!!" And while saying those words, he held me real close to his heart...and that very moment, I resolved to live!!!
Life is full of vicissitudes! So long as we are in the world, no one is totally free from the ups and downs in life. My mother used to say that "it's only a dead man who has every right to boast!" Yes, because what else can he suffer in this life? He is free from pain and heartaches!
Many people have encountered situations that might have made them question everything in life including the existence of God! Do not blame those people please! The pain of the moment can drive any one crazy. He/she may be hurting so intensely that he/she may experience temporary insanity. Some who went that route, sadly, never recovered. It then behoves those around the person in a hurtful situation to help him/her retain some sanity! Words heal! Words also kill! Be careful what you tell some one who is hurting. Like my mother said, "if you don't know what to say, or you don't have any meaningful thing to say, please, do not say a word!" Your careless, insensitive utterance may be all the person needs to go over the edge!
So what was it that made me wish to die, you may be asking? Well, I am about to share that with you here and now. January 5, 1986 has remained indelible in my mind. I don't cry about it any more. But it's still vivid as if it happened yesterday. That was the day I lost a child, to me, one of the most painful losses for a mom! Being young and inexperienced did not help! But does it really matter? Got pregnant while in school. Pregnancy was uneventful. Was not sick even for a day. Kept all my doctor's/prenatal appointments. Did everything as I was told. Nine blessed months later...in a twinkle of an eye...I lost my baby during delivery!!! Baby was breach presentation!
Out of stupidity, carelessness or sheer foolhardiness, a nurse held the baby's umbilical cord together with it's leg which led to my precious baby's asphyxiation!!! Holding its cord while baby was in the birth canal was like sealing one's nose and mouth!!! By the time they realized it, my beautiful gift had died while in transit into the world!!! A Cesarean section was too late!!! I wept until there was no strength left in me!!! I wished to die! I prayed to die!! I willed to die!!! Would have died but my husband's words consoled me and made me hang on. With tears running down his face, he said: "I am sad we lost the baby. But...I still have you...and that is all that matters to me now...God will give us other children...Am happy you survived...and you are here with me!!!" And while saying those words, he held me real close to his heart...and that very moment, I resolved to live!!!
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