Nkiru Oh
For long now, I've been wanting to share something highly classified with you. First of all, have you had an embarrassing moment in your life? I mean, the type of situation where you wished you could disappear, or that every other person would melt into thin air so nobody saw what happened to you? You have? No, don't ask me if I have experienced any. I asked you first. So, have you?
Let me be more specific: have you ever landed on your behind, in public, in the full view of everybody? Don't tell me I have a big behind to cushion the fall! That's not the point any way! The issue is that I landed flat on my behind in what I think was the most embarrassing manner of this century!!! To me at least! So, as I was saying, okay, how about I share mine and after, you share yours? Deal? Fine, here we go then.
No, no,no, why should I be ashamed to share an embarrassing moment with my friends, supporters and viewers? Why should you? Common now, learn to laugh at yourself. Life becomes sweeter that way! Even presidents had fallen at one time or the other. Some fractured some bones if I still recollect correctly! Many celebs too. Yeah, musicians and models are not spared either...some have traveled the route more than once. A couple of models fell off the stage onto the audience yet they did not quit their jobs so why should I not laugh at me? When Miss B or Lady J fell during a performance, each continued as if nothing happened. And that was exactly what I did trust me!
My classified expose` happened during a wedding sometime last year. Jesus Christ of Nazareth! Now release the power of your imagination to the fullest...you can let it run wild too if you so desire! Start picturing the situation: I, yours sincerely, dressed to the T, wearing my 4-inch big-heeled coach sandals with a purse to match....Are you still there? You are laughing already? Okay, where did I stop? Ahaaa, I used to wear stilettos a lot but not anymore! Not because I got wiser and learnt to spare my back from the effects of wearing such shoes...no way...but am like, what's the point wearing shoes and one's face becoming contorted due to intense pain on the toes and lower back, or one walking with legs bent outwardly as if they have formed a bow, all in the name of fashion? I see people like that a lot. That's tortuous you know! So I now wear block high heels. Don't wanna lose no tooth from landing on my face!
Enough digression please! Eehee, so we were in line to toast the bride and groom. Here I was, feeling on top of the world; dancing so elegantly or should I say majestically; giving my million- dollar smile to whoever needed it; did not have a clue someone spilled wine on the carpet....OMG! Please travel to that day with me...as soon as my right foot touched the spill, all hell broke loose! Tried so much to break the fall to no avail! Come and see me skidding, skiing, gyrating, and finally moon walking for about five feet to the back until I heard a loud 'gboam' on the floor! Oh yes, I fell on my behind in the presence of all the wedding guests! The world stood still! You could hear the pin drop! To add salt to injury, the glass of wine in my hand plus that of the person standing next to me emptied on my white top! I think the lady was so amazed that I could do the moonwalk so easily that she forgot she was holding a glass! Or what do you think? Thanks for making the deal with me. Now go ahead and share your story! ***wink...wink***
For long now, I've been wanting to share something highly classified with you. First of all, have you had an embarrassing moment in your life? I mean, the type of situation where you wished you could disappear, or that every other person would melt into thin air so nobody saw what happened to you? You have? No, don't ask me if I have experienced any. I asked you first. So, have you?
Let me be more specific: have you ever landed on your behind, in public, in the full view of everybody? Don't tell me I have a big behind to cushion the fall! That's not the point any way! The issue is that I landed flat on my behind in what I think was the most embarrassing manner of this century!!! To me at least! So, as I was saying, okay, how about I share mine and after, you share yours? Deal? Fine, here we go then.
No, no,no, why should I be ashamed to share an embarrassing moment with my friends, supporters and viewers? Why should you? Common now, learn to laugh at yourself. Life becomes sweeter that way! Even presidents had fallen at one time or the other. Some fractured some bones if I still recollect correctly! Many celebs too. Yeah, musicians and models are not spared either...some have traveled the route more than once. A couple of models fell off the stage onto the audience yet they did not quit their jobs so why should I not laugh at me? When Miss B or Lady J fell during a performance, each continued as if nothing happened. And that was exactly what I did trust me!
My classified expose` happened during a wedding sometime last year. Jesus Christ of Nazareth! Now release the power of your imagination to the fullest...you can let it run wild too if you so desire! Start picturing the situation: I, yours sincerely, dressed to the T, wearing my 4-inch big-heeled coach sandals with a purse to match....Are you still there? You are laughing already? Okay, where did I stop? Ahaaa, I used to wear stilettos a lot but not anymore! Not because I got wiser and learnt to spare my back from the effects of wearing such shoes...no way...but am like, what's the point wearing shoes and one's face becoming contorted due to intense pain on the toes and lower back, or one walking with legs bent outwardly as if they have formed a bow, all in the name of fashion? I see people like that a lot. That's tortuous you know! So I now wear block high heels. Don't wanna lose no tooth from landing on my face!
Enough digression please! Eehee, so we were in line to toast the bride and groom. Here I was, feeling on top of the world; dancing so elegantly or should I say majestically; giving my million- dollar smile to whoever needed it; did not have a clue someone spilled wine on the carpet....OMG! Please travel to that day with me...as soon as my right foot touched the spill, all hell broke loose! Tried so much to break the fall to no avail! Come and see me skidding, skiing, gyrating, and finally moon walking for about five feet to the back until I heard a loud 'gboam' on the floor! Oh yes, I fell on my behind in the presence of all the wedding guests! The world stood still! You could hear the pin drop! To add salt to injury, the glass of wine in my hand plus that of the person standing next to me emptied on my white top! I think the lady was so amazed that I could do the moonwalk so easily that she forgot she was holding a glass! Or what do you think? Thanks for making the deal with me. Now go ahead and share your story! ***wink...wink***
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